Big Shot

Who takes a limosine to work? I mean, I didn't have time to wait around and find out, but I imagined it was overweight office ladies, whose boss man paid for the limo, so they could go to the outlet stores for the day to Christmas shop. This would be Aimers worst nightmare, yet a predicament that I could see myself getting into with no way out.

Peace be with you,
Aimers

Stitches and stuff....

I don't know why I've not been blogging lately, shit just hasn't been that interesting lately I guess. But here is some stuff on my mind:

My stitches are out and everything on my arm is healing up fine, a bit dry, but fine. I think I might need ointment.

I'll be happy to have five days off for Thanksgiving and will eat a lot of food. I wish I were in Cancun with the Burritto Sisters, that sounds pretty nice.

I hope I don't catch a cold, because everyone seems to be sick. I hate it when people are sick. I don't want to be around them. I don't like coughing or sniffling.

Ummm, oh, the Bachelor was pretty funny last night, most dramatic rose ceremony ever. That dude turned out to be a real dick. But, those girls have to be pretty stupid to date a twin, creepy.

I miss the Pick Up Artist and wish that I were Canadian. I'm considering becoming a goth for the winter months, but the winter months don't seem to be coming, so I'm not sure now.

I want to see the new Cohen Bros. movie, Gio is reading, Mary J's album is coming out on December 18th, my windshield still needs replacing as does my right tail light, I don't like it when people eat ice, I dislike the store Kohl's, and I still hate cinammon.

I guess that about wraps it up....oh one last thing, my washer broke.
Have a good holiday if I can't think of anything intersting before then.

Aimers

How to Ask Aimers for an Autograph or Photo

1.Aimers is just a person. She has a real life and responsibilities; make sure your timing is appropriate for what you want. Fans are appreciated but keep in mind that no one wants to be ambushed exiting the lavatory stall or with a mouthful of dinner at a business meeting over at Johnny Carino's.

2. Understand that Aimers is used to people asking her for autographs. She takes it in stride, so don't be too nervous.

3. Approach Aimers, but don't get so close that it annoys her. Say "Hi," tell her your name, and give a light compliment. Do not gush - she doesn't enjoy it. Ask a question or two. Comment on whatever she's famous for.

4.Hold out a pen and paper, but don't stuff it into her hands. Ask for an autograph by saying "I'd love to have your autograph," or "May I take a picture with you?" Don't be shy. Be confident and smiley.

Hope this helps, and if I've EVER offended any of you my loyal and devoted fans, please know that I must've have been having a bad case of the Mondays.

Dave and Buster's

It was only a matter of time before they developed a Chuck E Cheese for the corporate minded adult. I don't know how much worse things can get. Dave and Buster's boasts over 200 video games, specialty drinks, and an "awesome" menu, which includes philly cheese steak rolls and a drink called the shizzle. They also offer special banquet rooms for all of your work hard/play hard corporate events. I guess it was only a matter of time, now I can only hope that Natomas gets a Dave and Busters.

Vamp Le Stat

I'm pretty much screwed, and have been bit by a little vampire. Symptoms include, thirst for blood, being tired, wearing all black, shopping at hot topic, drinking lots of coffee, complaining, putting too many bumper stickers on my car, listening to Bauhaus, buying china flats, excessive clove smoking, dancing with fog machines, pessimism, and hanging out at the Birdcage Walk. If you know a good cure, other than The Cure, please let me know immediately, would like to be back to my bubbly optimistic self as soon as possible.

Aimers

Flags

Finally, something exciting has happened. As I came into work this morning and opened the front door, I was bombarded by the huge flags you see in the picture. There are seven of them and they line the main thoroughfare of our building. No longer are you able to walk through without trying to avoid the flags, and even then, they touch the top of your head as you walk past. There is no explanation as to why the flags have been bolted to the wall, nor any discussion as to what is going on.

There is some speculation that this could have to do with PRIDE or a "Drive to /Fast Track to Success" campaign. I will keep you posted.

Lady Comics

A comedian, or comic, is a performer who entertains an audience by making them laugh. This might be through jokes or amusing situations, or acting the fool, as in slapstick, or employing prop comedy. A comedian who stands and addresses an audience directly is called a stand-up comedian.

I'm just sayin.

Is this thing on??

Well, hello, I am back from my whirlwind of a trip to China. Not sure what to think about all of it yet, I'm a bit out of it and already back to work.

Let me start by saying I now know more than ever that we are very spoiled living in the U.S. I also know that it is pretty hard to keep your balance and not pee on your ankles while you teeter over a hole in the ground to piss. I saw lots of neat things and hope to get some pictures posted to one of those fancy websites where you can make a slideshow real soon.

In other news, Gio lost his first tooth....and I missed it. I was real bummed about that, but was able to make a call to the tooth fairy, via mobile phone, to let her know to wait to come bring him money in exchange for his very small German tooth.

Oh...and one more thing, everyone had really neat cell phone charms in Hong Kong.

Peace out bitches,
Aimers

Zai Jian

This will be Aimers last blog until Oct 8th or thereabouts. Heading out to Hong Kong with Shanghai Shirley tomorrow. I'm nervous and excited. I need everyone to keep me updated on who Bret Michaels will choose as his love mate on the Rock of Love, is it going to be Heather or Jes? Totally up in the air. Did I mention I was nervous?

Ok, see you next week.

Aimers

The Chad's of the World

Some things Chad loves:

Linkin Park
Maroon 5
Nickleback
Fall Out Boy
Beer
Watersports
The new 7 series BMW, sick.
Bringing sexy back
Cabo/Hawaii
Wakeboarding/snowboarding/any sort of boarding
Girls who are cool to just kick it...and a bangin body doesn't hurt either!

Dislikes:
Smokers
A poor attitude
Laziness
Anyone that wants to judge and not have a good time
Last call

RIP BIP

We lose yet another mime in an ever descending population of mimes. Marcel Merceau, popularized the art of mime, and his character BIP, was adored by mime enthusiasts and performance artists world wide. Marceau took the art of mime further than the traditional... trapped in a box or frantically searching for rope, Marcel was the master of mime, and now sadly, he is taken from us at 84 years of age.

It seems like only yesterday that I was quietly watching VHS tapes of Marcel in my bedroom, age 11, thinking of all the ways I would paint my face, "if only I could afford white and black pancake make-up from Sprouse Reitz", I always thought to myself. "If only mother and the rest of the world, would understand the importance of mime". Then one day my dreams all came true, I started working at Laugh's Unlimited, Tuesday, day shift, where I was able to practice mimery, while serving appetizers to the Capitol Crowd. I did this for three weeks straight, until I was asked to leave, apparently Laughs wasn't ready for the art of mime.

As you know, Fans of Aimers are fans of mimes....and so I leave you with these parting words from Mr. Marcel Marceau, Master of Mime.

"Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us all without words?"

~Marcel Marceau

I think a moment of silence would be appropriate.

God Bless, fans, Aimers.

Sheriff Lou Blanas

As you gaze at this picture with all of the beautiful shades of green, and J-dog's face smiling in the corner, don't let your eyes fool you. Take a closer look, right there by the red arrow and you will see ex-sheriff Lou Blanas downing a cocktail with his bros. It looked like a strong drink, as it was in one of the smaller glasses and was clear with a toothpick. Did I mention it was 11 a.m.? Retirement must be so sweet. Hope he got a hold of Sherm for a ride home.

Aimers

Trippin off Sherm...and other things.

It is hard to determine why scads of moped riding twenty somethings hit the streets of Sacramento this weekend, but it was freaky and uncomfortable. Friday BFF and I went dancing only to realize the entire club was filled with some sort of moped gang, it was awkward and we felt twice our age. I guess its best not to relive those things you once found so cool...I mean...dancing to 80's music is best done in the 80's, and to try to relive it is pretty disgusting, at least on our part. It's more pathetic than kitschy. With that said, we needed a ride home, so we called BFF's main cabbie, Sherman. To our surprise his number was disconnected, so now we're trippin' off sherm.

Slow Your Roll

One must be careful not to get too big for their britches, even if those britches are slim legged Premium Levi's that cost you a couple of hundred dollars to look cool for the kids.

Question to Kanye: Remember Mase? Yeah, didn't think so.

Just check yo' self, is all I'm sayin, check yo self.

Aimers

That's a WRAP people!!

Look people, I don't want to buy any of your kid's wrapping paper. If I have one more desperate parent enter my office with scads of paperwork and excel spreadsheets begging for money for Taylor and Brianna's school fundraiser, I'm going to fucking lose it. I've got my own fundraising to do, shit. By the time I buy all this wrapping paper, I'm not going to have money left to have anything to wrap...doesn't anyone get this? Also note: I will not buy cookies, magazines, chocolates, Candlelight, Pampered Chef, Avon, Mary Kay, or anything remotley like any one of these things.

Thanks in advance.
Ms. Aimee

Dr. Silverman's Office

I went to see Dr. Silverman, dermatologist and father of Sarah this morning. This was the waiting room, lots of AARP magazines as well as Time and Newsweek. One man, when asked his birthday by the receptionist, said, "November 10th 1920, I'm as old as dirt". Is that true? I don't know. It seemed like he was telling a tall tale. Well, the bad news for me in the life of aimers, is that I've got some crazy mole that needs to be surgically removed pronto. I'm kind of tripping, but like Tupac says, keep yo' head up. Which reminds me, I haven't made a Tupac memorial blog.

I gotta go!!
Aimers

Just like Ronnie said.....

Whoa, i'm patiently awaiting the verdict in the case of Phil Spector. What a sorted story he's got going on here. A real Hollywood tragedy with all the right ingredients to make a made for television movie on Lifetime. I really don't know what to believe, but do know that Spector has some snazzy taste. His 27 year old wife is one lucky lady.

Aimers

Lil' Aimers

As my birthday quickly approaches, I still feel like a child. Not yet ready to grow up and face the world, not yet ready to believe this is it, quick to play all day and dream. Bluebells and cockle shells.

Here is a poem my mom wrote to me as I approached my third birthday:

Aimee Bree almost three and what a big girl you have grown to be.
Blue eyes and blonde hair, in my mind you are always there.
Running and laughing in the sun, it always looks like you are having so much fun.
Eating peanut butter and watching TV, oh how I wish that I was almost three.

Love,
Mom

Raider Nation

Welp, I finally did it. I plunked down $250 and got my very own Raider's tattoo by Wild Bill on Sunday. I've been wanting to do this for so many years, and finally on Sunday, my brother says to me, he says, "hey, sis, let's get those Raiders tattoos we've been talking about since Jr. High, we'll get em' for PaPa"....so I says to him, I says, "OK", and three excrutiating hours later, voila. Just in time for Monday night football. Whose making the seven layer dip?

Aimers (wow, it even sounds kinda like raiders)

Crash Em' Up Derby

Hi there,

I found this little feller in Auburn last night. He was the consummate professional, announcer, for the crash em' up derby at the Auburn County Fair yesterday and what a job he did. Not only did he keep his cool, for over two hours by doing wide leg stances while announcing, he got the crowd excited by instigating a dueling shouting match from each side of the bleachers, you know...."ok EVERAY BODAY on that side I want you to say WATER.... and on this side I wanna hear you say TRUCK", and then as he'd cup his ear to one side, they'd scream "WATER!!!", and then he'd do that cutsey fake jog back to the other side with an ear cup and a motion of the arm to be really loud and the crowd would go wild "TRUCK!!!" and so on and so forth, total professional. I snapped this photo of him, when he was shooting the shit with the guy next to me, but as he saw me take it he came up, put his arm around Gio and gave a "shit eating grin" posing for another picture. God, it really doesn't get much better!!

Aimstein