Mi Vida Loca

Over the last several months I've been spending a lot more time with my homegirls. Recently they talked me into a cut and color. I'm not sure what to think, I'm just getting used to the yellow highlights. I think it washes me out a little bit but I trust their opinions.

Hope that everything is joyous and your 2009 is coming along swimmingly.
Claro Que Si,
Aimers

Christmas Casual

Hello fans. Sorry for not writing. I've taken time off to grow out my hair and it is taking up a lot more time than I'd anticipated in the beginning. Hopefully the pay off will be worth it. Anyhow....there is something I'd like to discuss this holiday season. It is what I'd like to refer to as Christmas Casual.

This is a phenom that I noticed last week on a trip to Los Angeles. It was a bustling Friday morning at the Southwest terminal. Usually I'd be met with mid-morning business travelers decked out in their best Friday biz-cas outfits. But, because it is the month of December it seemed that everyone turned in their corporate polos and jeans for Christmas inspired sweatshirts, sweaters, and socks.

The woman I have pictured (we'll call her Denise for the sake of the article) is obviously taking care of business as pronounced with her blue tooth ear piece and smart haircut. The only difference here is that Denise is also ringing in the holidays with her head to toe Christmas ensemble paired with a very smart Gloria Vanderbilt jean. This look allows Denise to say, "hey look corporate America, not only can I talk very loudly at the airport about mundane business transactions but I can deck the halls!"

I know that Christmas is quickly approaching and I did mean to relay this information sooner so that you could dress Chris-Cas for your December Fridays, but hopefully you have one or two pot lucks before you are officially out of office.

Have a safe and happy holiday season.
Aimers

Congratulations!

This is such an exciting time, we've finally got our president elect and it just so happens to be Barack Obama. I can't ever remember feeling so excited about an election. I'm proud to call him my president and look forward to see how we change as a nation in the coming years.

Not only do I think that Obama is going to be a wonderful president, I feel proud to call him a role model. The love he has for his wife and children make me tear up every time I see them together. To me they represent what a family should be. Strong values, support of one another, and most importantly LOVE.

I'm sorry to those who were affected by Prop 8 here in California as I think it is nothing but unfair, but I do have hope that we will see that turn around in the very near future.

I've never been one to be patriotic or to have ever even waved a United States flag, but at this point in time, I have a rejuvenated patriotism and I am just overwhelmed with emotions for our new presidential family.

Congratulations OBAMA family. Thank you for representing all that is good.
~Aimers

Costume Idea

Halloween is quickly approaching so I went down to Wishing Well this afternoon. Everything is pretty much picked over, but I was able to find a Beth Chapman costume on sale.

Now I can be the Dog's sidekick with this standard issue costume. Beth's costume features her big blond wig, with a black dress and dark sunglasses. The costume also includes handcuffs, a necklace, and a knife with leg strap.

Be forewarned, cheap perfume and a carton of cigarettes is not included with the basic costume, I'd suggest C&B Liquors for these last minute accessories.

Unfortunaltey it looked as though Dog, Leland, Baby Lisa, and Youngblood costumes were already sold out.

Happy trick or treating,
Aimers

Redemption

Maybe I'm just totally nuts, but I think I remember something about Britney Spears being completley off her rocker like four months ago. Should we just chalk it all up to breakdown '08?

Aimers Defies Death

As many of you know David Blaine just performed his latest death defying trick, the Death Dive. This is the one where he hung upside down for something like 60 hours then took a dive off the platform from which he hung landing right back onto his steel toed boots.

Can you imagine, hanging upside down, for sixty hours? I couldn't either, not until this morning, that is. This morning I decided to try this act out on my own. I set the timer on the oven for twenty minutes, then got onto the couch and positioned myself so that I hung just off it's edge. The first five minute were a breeze, I thought...what's the big deal Blaine? But as 15 minutes rolled around I began to feel hungry, I needed to go to the bathroom, and my face started to feel funny. Puchi, my fucking cat, kept rubbing her body back and forth on my cheeks, making me feel like I had to sneeze. I didn't think I would make it to 20 minutes. It took all my mental strength to reach that twenty minute mark.

Finally, the buzzer from the oven rang....my twenty minutes were up. Since I couldn't really do a dive off the couch I chose to do a backwards somersault. I landed it with no problems. As you can imagine, the whole experience was life changing.

I sit here sharing my experience via blog with a new lease on life, ready for my next adventure. I'm on top of the WORLD!!! I feel like Tom Cruise. I feel superhuman, like I could take a bullet and not even get hurt.

Welp, I need to go get my daily french crueler and feed Nipperkin.
Here's to YOUR next adventure fans!!

~Cheers,
Aimers

Homo Sapien Spotting

Homo Sapien spotting in East Sacramento.

These two adult male homo sapiens were spotted Sunday in their natural environment, East Sacramento.
When observed the pair picked up dry cleaning, ate grilled chicken sandwiches with goat cheese and roasted red pepper on foccacia bread, drank a pint of Stella Artrois, and slowly made their way back to an Audi wagon with ski racks.

As evidenced by the picture the homo sapiens were in weekend wear. Cargo shorts with extra pockets, light blue button ups, and flip flops (was not close enough to see if they were Havianas, looked like something from American Eagle).

In my professional opinion the two probably know one another from attending Sacramento State. It would also be safe to assume that both have given best man speeches at some point in their lives and that they were spending time together, only briefly, while their girlfriends were getting mani/pedis.

My investigation of the species continues.


Dr. Aimerstein

Close Call

Thank you to the good folks at Sutterville Elementary for rescuing my bird, Nipperkin.

Last night around 9:30 p.m. I approached Nipperkin's cage to give him one last treat and cover up his cage so that he could rest. As I approached I could not hear him. Our nightly routine is that he yells out "Nippy love mama"; not last night.

I frantically searched the house, I quickly realized he was gone. As you can imagine I was completely devastated and unable to sleep. I kept thinking I could hear him just outside my window, "Nipperkin wants in mama", but whenever I'd look out, he wasn't there.

So, this morning I began my search. I got out of bed at 5 a.m. and started walking the streets calling for him. When I approached Marie's donuts for my morning French Crueler, I had tears in my eyes. Mai Pan who works the counter asked "what wrong with you now?" with tears in my eyes, I told her about Nipperkin.

Mai Pan told me that her last customer had just picked up a baker's dozen for Sutterville Elementary as they had an extra guest in the office today, a beautiful bird. I said, "Mai, do you think they have my Nipperkin?!" Mai can't really understand anything I say so she just pointed to a sign posted on the window about a found bird.

I ate my crueler and hi-tailed it down to Sutterville, where to my surprise, Nipperkin was perched on the filing cabinet over Ms. Sony's head.

Nipperkin, "YOU PRANKSTER!", I thought to myself. Is this how you go about getting a donut?? After a few minutes, I really wasn't even mad, I was just releived to see him.

Thank you again, Mai Pan, Ms. Sony, and all the other good people in the area. I appreciate your concern for Nipperkin. I appreciate it more than any of you will ever know.

Sincerley,
Aimers

BITER!!!

Remember last year when I went to the California State Fair and nuzzled up with a llama and shortly thereafter Anold read my blog and was pictured in the Sacramento Bee doing the EXACT same thing? I'm sure if you are an avid reader it rings a bell. Well, he's at it again, and this time he's on Island Time.

The Sacramento Bee reports:

Partying without Schwarzenegger in St. Paul

Even if he wasn't physically in St. Paul, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was here in spirit - and in DVD.

The Republican governor gave out DVDs as parting gifts at the "Island Fever" bash he hosted Tuesday night for California delegates. As with virtually everything at the convention, even the gifts were sponsored - these came from the Motion Picture Association of America.

Staff handed out Schwarzenegger flicks such as Conan the Barbarian, Twins and Around the World in 80 Days, in addition to non-Schwarzenegger films like Transformers. As one delegate considered selecting the film Junior, an aide noted, "Arnold is pregnant in it!"

One of the most popular choices was Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, part of Schwarzenegger's signature film series. But if delegates looked carefully at the dimly lit gift table outside, they would have seen that many of the Terminator 3 discs were in HD-DVD, the loser in the DVD format war - essentially the Betamax of our time.

Retailers sell the discs in discount bins because the format is defunct. But MPAA and Schwarzenegger may have just answered the question as to how to get rid of the remaining HD-DVD discs: use them as parting gifts.

Doesn't this guy have any original ideas? Last year he copies my state fair theatrics, and this year he's stolen my 2008 motto?
Austrians, eh?

Perfect Match

How much does it suck that Tina Fey is no longer doing skits on Saturday Night Live, she would've done the most PERFECT Sarah Palin impression ever. I can just hear her now asking, "do you know what the difference is between hockey moms and pitbulls?" pause, look at camera "LIPSTICK!".....oh the laughs that could be had.

Braggart McBraggart

Yeah dude, thanks for rubbing it in, of course I want a 1982 Vette with gold shudder tail lights, no duh. Sheesh, rub it in why don't you?! People these days.

WARNING CURTIS PARK!!!

Now that Gio is in school and I've got no job; I decided to set off on a nice morning walk. Thankfully I found this sign posted to a wooden telephone pole in Curtis Park, it's a warning, it reads:

*WARNING*
DO NOT SHOP AT THE CURTIS PARK MARKET!
THE NEWEST OWNER IS A THIEF!
I KNOW THIS BECAUSE HE CONSTANTLY OVER CHARGES ME FOR ITEMS I
HAVE PURCHASED THERE FOR 2 YEARS.
WHEN I TRY TO TELL HIM THE PRICE MARKED FOR A GIVEN ITEM, HE YELLS AND ME
AND INSISITS ON SELLING ITEMS AT THE WRONG PRICE.
DON'T GET STOLEN FROM.
SHOPE SOMEWHERE ELSE-BOYCOTT THE CURTIS PARK THEIF!

Wowzers, thankfully I saw this sign. I'm hoping when we purchase the market that the residents of land park and curtis park will go back to being satisfied and not have to deal with anymore dirty thieves.

First Day Of School

First day of school has finally arrived. The summer went by WAY too fast, but I think Gio enjoyed everything he was able to do. Skate board camp, Virginia, and learning to swim....all accomplished this summer, and now he starts a new year. So far, so good. New shoes, new shirts, and new jeans. He likes his teacher and found out today that his best friend is being moved into his class, if you ask me, it doesn't get any better than that. The fridge is stocked with juice boxes and Wonder bread. The shelves are equipped with HoHo's, fruit leathers, and goldfish crackers. I think it's the beginning of a wonderful year. If I were still at work this would be the second day of Q1 Fiscal Year '09.....ahhhh, don't miss that.

Lates.
Aimers

Go Ahead and Jump

I was so used to that piece of shit PC at work, pardon my lack of blogging.

Being laid off.....where do I begin? I'll start right here....wait a second, did I tell you I was laid off? Well, I am.

You know I can remember my dad, Ed, being laid off so many times as a kid. He was in construction. He drank a lot of beer. He had no education. He had me at 19 years old. He had DUI's (knocked his teeth out). He left my mom. He drove a red Trans Am. He listened to the Miami Vice soundtrack, relentlessly.

Ed Anspach's idea of a good time was pizza and a pitcher of beer. He never spent time with me even though I begged him to. Ed eventually left my beautiful mom and married a woman named Rhonda who loved air brushed blue carnations.... but.... I loved him....he was the most funny and handsome human being I'd ever witnessed....but I never wanted to be him.

While I knew it was bad that he was laid off as we lived in our Citrus Heights tract home with no car or health care; I always figured there was probably something he had done to deserve the lay off. Whether it was his lack of education, his weekends in jail, or just bad weather. There always seemed to be a reason for him not having a job.

Now, here I am pushing 36 years old, a super important bachelor's degree in hand, 16 years of dedicated work experience, any and every thing I could do not to end up like my dad....I did........and now....with all of that said.... I find I am laid off.

What gives? I took all the right precautions. I got my bachelor's degree, I mentored/tutored/spoke up/kept my mouth shut/ listened/managed/believed/gained respect/gave respect/dedicated eight years/was fair/was constructive...... blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I still end up like Ed. It's frustrating. But, I have hope.

My point is....my random thoughts... the Weston's .....the Burritos...; The Langtry's...EMC, Ed Anspach, Mary Holley, my punker Grandma who converted to a democrat this week...Delshawn, Oliver Ong, dave neilsen, IADT, UOP, SSA, SPB, EAII, OPP, hyderbad, my creative, beautiful mom...my loving oakie granny.....my BEAUTIFUL son.....all of these things....lead me to believe in the HOPE that Obama spoke of tonight. The willingness to accept. Empathy. Love. Dedication. Giving. Goodness.

Live it BITCHES. In the mean time.....jump rope to the the smuggler's blues.

Shout out to Scott Bain.

Irish Gangsters

These two met when they were ten months old. They've been best friends since. Only time will tell where the world will take them, but I'm quite sure they'll be shakin' up Land Park in no time.

Camping Trip

This weekend was FANTASTIC a quick camping trip to Sugar Pine Reservoir with the kids, KID TIME. This picture demonstrates G finding and cathing a one eyed toad. Though the bottom of my feet my forever be stained with red dirt, I don't care. I had the best time ever....chatting, eating, drinking, skinny dipping, star gazing, failed attempts at rafting....it was glorious. Aimers likes camping.

Stop!!

Today Aimers would like to say, that you should take time to smell the roses. They are pressure washing the building here today so it's really loud and I'm getting a major migraine. I may have an age old case of the Mondays.

Aimers

Fun with Pictures

Check this out: http://www.photofunia.com/

Croc Charms

Curtis Park Dream Store: COMING SOON

I have to admit my spirits have been down since finding out that guy from Willie's hamburgers ended up getting Fuji. But, whatever, I'm Aimers, I move on people.

It all started last week. I entered Curtis Park Market and the wafting smell of rat piss filled my nostrils. I was there for my usual, pack of Kools and single tall can of malt liquor....but this time, I wanted popsicles too. As I wrote my check for $4.32, I asked the cashier "why no popsicles?". He says, "no worry, I get for you", and pretends to write down popsicles on some "shopping list" of future items to buy for the store. Knowing I would never come back for the popsicles, it all dawned on me. I'm buying Curtis Park Market and making it a dream store, for all the Curtis Park/Land Park people.

My new store is going to be totally awesome. For starters people in the parks, Curtis and Land, like organic shit, home made ice cream, specialty meats, cheeses, beer (no singles), wine...I'm going to have all of that and lasagna. I'm going to have lots of sauces, BBQ rubs, and baked goods. As a matter of fact, I'm going to carry Old Soul baked goods and coffee, because that place is super hip.

I'm going to expand the parking lot so there are like 10 different bicycle racks for all the fixed gear bicycles. Mopeds and scooters will have their own parking structure and I'll have two separate alternative fueling stations. One hemp and one corn oil. And it's going to be all old timey where someone comes and pumps your alternative fuel for you, while washing your windows.

This dream store will also have a totally rad courtyard out back and Jerry Perry is going to book shows there when we have wine tasting and appetizer night. There will be a big relaxing fountain so you can read the San Francisco Chronicle, Midtown Monthly or your Sac State Alumni magazines next to it, total chill time. Sometimes when it's nice out we can have local neighbors, like that one kids dad from Crocker Riverside give gardening classes in the back... organic, of course.

Were not going to forget about the babies either. When you come into the store you can check out one of our hemp baby slings for dad to wear while you shop. We'll have baby massage, baby yoga, breast feeding support groups and we'll be the very first store in the area to sell a full selection of fresh breast milk made by local moms.

Speaking of Moms, we haven't forgotten about you. You'll be pleased to know we offer knitting circles, hair braiding classes, oil/soap making courses, vegan potlucks, mixed martial arts classes and yoga taught by the "SF Yoga Girl". And, once the housing market gets better, were going to do mortgages in our office space... oh.... while I'm on the subject, please don't forget I'm a notary public, and am here for any of your notary needs.

Furthermore...NO SHOPPING BAGS WHATSOEVER.

Too good to be true? I certainly hope not. But just to be safe, I'm going to go down and write a check out for three California State Lottery tickets as soon as I get off of work. Please, seriously, keep your fingers crossed. I don't want another Fuji situation on my hands.

I look forward to servicing all of your annoying needs,
Aimers

(Thanks April for the inspiration)