Thursday, September 25, 2008
Aimers Defies Death
As many of you know David Blaine just performed his latest death defying trick, the Death Dive. This is the one where he hung upside down for something like 60 hours then took a dive off the platform from which he hung landing right back onto his steel toed boots.
Can you imagine, hanging upside down, for sixty hours? I couldn't either, not until this morning, that is. This morning I decided to try this act out on my own. I set the timer on the oven for twenty minutes, then got onto the couch and positioned myself so that I hung just off it's edge. The first five minute were a breeze, I thought...what's the big deal Blaine? But as 15 minutes rolled around I began to feel hungry, I needed to go to the bathroom, and my face started to feel funny. Puchi, my fucking cat, kept rubbing her body back and forth on my cheeks, making me feel like I had to sneeze. I didn't think I would make it to 20 minutes. It took all my mental strength to reach that twenty minute mark.
Finally, the buzzer from the oven rang....my twenty minutes were up. Since I couldn't really do a dive off the couch I chose to do a backwards somersault. I landed it with no problems. As you can imagine, the whole experience was life changing.
I sit here sharing my experience via blog with a new lease on life, ready for my next adventure. I'm on top of the WORLD!!! I feel like Tom Cruise. I feel superhuman, like I could take a bullet and not even get hurt.
Welp, I need to go get my daily french crueler and feed Nipperkin.
Here's to YOUR next adventure fans!!