Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Zai Jian

This will be Aimers last blog until Oct 8th or thereabouts. Heading out to Hong Kong with Shanghai Shirley tomorrow. I'm nervous and excited. I need everyone to keep me updated on who Bret Michaels will choose as his love mate on the Rock of Love, is it going to be Heather or Jes? Totally up in the air. Did I mention I was nervous?

Ok, see you next week.


Monday, September 24, 2007

The Chad's of the World

Some things Chad loves:

Linkin Park
Maroon 5
Fall Out Boy
The new 7 series BMW, sick.
Bringing sexy back
Wakeboarding/snowboarding/any sort of boarding
Girls who are cool to just kick it...and a bangin body doesn't hurt either!

A poor attitude
Anyone that wants to judge and not have a good time
Last call


We lose yet another mime in an ever descending population of mimes. Marcel Merceau, popularized the art of mime, and his character BIP, was adored by mime enthusiasts and performance artists world wide. Marceau took the art of mime further than the traditional... trapped in a box or frantically searching for rope, Marcel was the master of mime, and now sadly, he is taken from us at 84 years of age.

It seems like only yesterday that I was quietly watching VHS tapes of Marcel in my bedroom, age 11, thinking of all the ways I would paint my face, "if only I could afford white and black pancake make-up from Sprouse Reitz", I always thought to myself. "If only mother and the rest of the world, would understand the importance of mime". Then one day my dreams all came true, I started working at Laugh's Unlimited, Tuesday, day shift, where I was able to practice mimery, while serving appetizers to the Capitol Crowd. I did this for three weeks straight, until I was asked to leave, apparently Laughs wasn't ready for the art of mime.

As you know, Fans of Aimers are fans of mimes....and so I leave you with these parting words from Mr. Marcel Marceau, Master of Mime.

"Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us all without words?"

~Marcel Marceau

I think a moment of silence would be appropriate.

God Bless, fans, Aimers.

Sheriff Lou Blanas

As you gaze at this picture with all of the beautiful shades of green, and J-dog's face smiling in the corner, don't let your eyes fool you. Take a closer look, right there by the red arrow and you will see ex-sheriff Lou Blanas downing a cocktail with his bros. It looked like a strong drink, as it was in one of the smaller glasses and was clear with a toothpick. Did I mention it was 11 a.m.? Retirement must be so sweet. Hope he got a hold of Sherm for a ride home.


Trippin off Sherm...and other things.

It is hard to determine why scads of moped riding twenty somethings hit the streets of Sacramento this weekend, but it was freaky and uncomfortable. Friday BFF and I went dancing only to realize the entire club was filled with some sort of moped gang, it was awkward and we felt twice our age. I guess its best not to relive those things you once found so cool...I mean...dancing to 80's music is best done in the 80's, and to try to relive it is pretty disgusting, at least on our part. It's more pathetic than kitschy. With that said, we needed a ride home, so we called BFF's main cabbie, Sherman. To our surprise his number was disconnected, so now we're trippin' off sherm.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Slow Your Roll

One must be careful not to get too big for their britches, even if those britches are slim legged Premium Levi's that cost you a couple of hundred dollars to look cool for the kids.

Question to Kanye: Remember Mase? Yeah, didn't think so.

Just check yo' self, is all I'm sayin, check yo self.


Tuesday, September 18, 2007

That's a WRAP people!!

Look people, I don't want to buy any of your kid's wrapping paper. If I have one more desperate parent enter my office with scads of paperwork and excel spreadsheets begging for money for Taylor and Brianna's school fundraiser, I'm going to fucking lose it. I've got my own fundraising to do, shit. By the time I buy all this wrapping paper, I'm not going to have money left to have anything to wrap...doesn't anyone get this? Also note: I will not buy cookies, magazines, chocolates, Candlelight, Pampered Chef, Avon, Mary Kay, or anything remotley like any one of these things.

Thanks in advance.
Ms. Aimee

Dr. Silverman's Office

I went to see Dr. Silverman, dermatologist and father of Sarah this morning. This was the waiting room, lots of AARP magazines as well as Time and Newsweek. One man, when asked his birthday by the receptionist, said, "November 10th 1920, I'm as old as dirt". Is that true? I don't know. It seemed like he was telling a tall tale. Well, the bad news for me in the life of aimers, is that I've got some crazy mole that needs to be surgically removed pronto. I'm kind of tripping, but like Tupac says, keep yo' head up. Which reminds me, I haven't made a Tupac memorial blog.

I gotta go!!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Just like Ronnie said.....

Whoa, i'm patiently awaiting the verdict in the case of Phil Spector. What a sorted story he's got going on here. A real Hollywood tragedy with all the right ingredients to make a made for television movie on Lifetime. I really don't know what to believe, but do know that Spector has some snazzy taste. His 27 year old wife is one lucky lady.


Lil' Aimers

As my birthday quickly approaches, I still feel like a child. Not yet ready to grow up and face the world, not yet ready to believe this is it, quick to play all day and dream. Bluebells and cockle shells.

Here is a poem my mom wrote to me as I approached my third birthday:

Aimee Bree almost three and what a big girl you have grown to be.
Blue eyes and blonde hair, in my mind you are always there.
Running and laughing in the sun, it always looks like you are having so much fun.
Eating peanut butter and watching TV, oh how I wish that I was almost three.


Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Raider Nation

Welp, I finally did it. I plunked down $250 and got my very own Raider's tattoo by Wild Bill on Sunday. I've been wanting to do this for so many years, and finally on Sunday, my brother says to me, he says, "hey, sis, let's get those Raiders tattoos we've been talking about since Jr. High, we'll get em' for PaPa" I says to him, I says, "OK", and three excrutiating hours later, voila. Just in time for Monday night football. Whose making the seven layer dip?

Aimers (wow, it even sounds kinda like raiders)

Monday, September 10, 2007

Crash Em' Up Derby

Hi there,

I found this little feller in Auburn last night. He was the consummate professional, announcer, for the crash em' up derby at the Auburn County Fair yesterday and what a job he did. Not only did he keep his cool, for over two hours by doing wide leg stances while announcing, he got the crowd excited by instigating a dueling shouting match from each side of the bleachers, you know...."ok EVERAY BODAY on that side I want you to say WATER.... and on this side I wanna hear you say TRUCK", and then as he'd cup his ear to one side, they'd scream "WATER!!!", and then he'd do that cutsey fake jog back to the other side with an ear cup and a motion of the arm to be really loud and the crowd would go wild "TRUCK!!!" and so on and so forth, total professional. I snapped this photo of him, when he was shooting the shit with the guy next to me, but as he saw me take it he came up, put his arm around Gio and gave a "shit eating grin" posing for another picture. God, it really doesn't get much better!!


Thursday, September 06, 2007

Bush is a CROC!!

Ok, enough is enough. We all know that George W. is a total croc, but he's taken it to a whole new level, donning the infamous "Croc". Let's talk about this shoe for a second people. WTF is everyone thinking? I believe this trend started with line cooks and chefs, who would wear the comfy clog paired with a wild dancing chili pepper print chef pant. However, the CROC has now made its way to every Montessori school from here to Baltimore. While I don't see much harm in five year olds wearing the shoe (sideline: yes, my mom sent G home with a brown pair that I've been trying to ditch, total embarassement), what I can't understand is why their parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and teachers have also decided to act like its ok to wear this fucking rubber clog. And now....this...the "ruler" of the free world donning this godamn "shoe"??!! WTF? I say it again, This is not OK people. Stop the insanity!!

Thank you for your consideration!!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

First Day

Aimers is pleased to announce that G's first day of school went off without a hitch. It will be interesting to hear what he has to say about his day, but from what I could tell, he seemed content and looked pretty preppy in his school uniform. It's funny because I can remember 1st grade like it was yesterday. I had a best friend named Mary-Elizabeth, whatever with the hyphen and I also had a boyfriend named Michael Paul Adell, yeah, he went by all three names, maybe this was popular in 19 seventy any rate I'm pretty sure that Michael Paul wouldn't date a girl these days. Nor would any of my "boyfriends" from grade K-10.

Well, hope all of you are enjoying first days of school too.